“NEURODIVERGENTE”: Mateo (Francisco, el Hombre) opens his heart

By 17 July, 2025

Almost with tears in his eyes, Mateo opens his heart. “I’m glad I wrote about all that back then, because today I’m not that person anymore, but I needed to talk.” He talks about the songs he composed inside rehab clinics for the album NEURODIVERGENTE, where he exposes his pain related to mental health and struggles with drug addiction. “I wouldn’t write that way today. It was difficult even to write the track-by-track for the press release. It was very painful, because I didn’t expect it to be like this. I thought it would be easy, that I would just write calmly, but it wasn’t.” Fear, however, didn’t stop him from sharing what he believed was necessary, including to help others in the same situation.

“When I started feeling the effects of all this I’m talking about, to be quite honest, I made music for myself between hospitalizations, and during hospitalizations,” he reveals. “That’s why I have a lot of music stored away. When I left the first hospitalization, I didn’t feel like it would work out because I was very, very ill, having severe outbursts, and during those outbursts, I really thought I wouldn’t come back, that I would stay and die there. But I also thought that at least these songs would explain what I was feeling. I needed to record it somehow. But this was for me, with the intention of leaving it at home for people to open later.”

Expressing these anxieties lifted the weight he’d been carrying alone. The initial difficulties began to flow naturally. The themes became lighter, and he decided it was time to make an album. During this process, he was wary of showing his full vulnerability. Precisely for this reason, he needed to expose himself, just as he did in support groups. Bringing this to the public would be a way to be honest with his supporters: his family and Francisco’s own bandmates, el Hombre, of which he was a member for 11 years.

“On stage, I was who I was, and there was no falseness in any way because I’ve always been very happy being on stage. For me, it was the moment when I became a child and rolled on the floor, but 80% of my day was the opposite of that, and I needed to share that,” he emphasizes. “So, I felt butterflies in my stomach, but I thought: these butterflies in my stomach are telling me that I’m scared, but I need to face this fear too. That’s when I decided to release it.”

Even with the decision made, the idea was to do something small, without much fanfare. But when he arrived at Dorsal Lab, where we were talking, he was persuaded to change his mind. “They said, ‘Man, this topic is important. You need to get this out there because it won’t help many people [otherwise].'” After the encouragement, he began speaking publicly about the issue on social media. He received support and also connected with people seeking support. “That’s when I realized I could help, including helping their family members,” he recalls. “I said, ‘If your brother is going through all this, take care of yourself too, because it’s not just him going through it, you’re going through it too.'” This was because he saw his partner, fellow singer Luê, and his brother suffering because of the situations they were experiencing. “I had a huge weight lifted off my shoulders because I spent at least three years going to psychiatric appointments and taking a lot of medication without anyone knowing. No one knew anything for a few years, until I agreed to be admitted to my psychiatrist and I opened up to everyone, and it was great, it was incredible.”

Honest, and free from initial fears, including the criticism he received for speaking openly about his problem, Mateo says he’s excited. His eyes shine. In the next room, some friends wait to hear the album for the first time. He says the people he wanted to be there for this special moment are there. “These are people who did everything for me, put everything on the line for me, and feeling so welcomed like this is the main way to make you think you can get through this,” he reflects. “I was really accumulating a lot, trying to improve on my own, and it doesn’t have to be alone.” The only time he had to go it alone was during the production of the eight songs. Having never experienced a “pregnancy” alone, he felt a certain insecurity.

“I was always used to discussing ideas in a group, disagreeing in a healthy way, and ultimately accepting them. But I was at a point where I tore off what I understood as the main element of my personality, which was substance use… which was always being drunk, always being high, always using something that took me away from normalcy,” he observes. “I tore that off and went through an identity crisis, which I’m still going through. I don’t know how to celebrate my birthday. I don’t know, I have no idea. Because nothing comes close to what I understood as a celebration. I don’t really know who I am within my social circle. Because the things I used to do most, I don’t do anymore. When I realized this, I saw the opportunity that I didn’t need to destroy everything I’d built in 18 years of personality to start building. I saw the opportunity to just build.”

The entire construction was done by Mateo himself, leveraging his expertise from work he’d developed for other artists. So, he recorded the bass, programmed the beats, and played the keyboards. Self-affirmation gave him the strength he needed. “It made a lot of sense because I became the owner of my own means of production,” he says. “It’s very important, as a music producer, as a musician, to be able to express what you want on your own. Besides knowing how to relate, which is just as important, it’s important to have confidence in yourself.” That’s why he took on everything. But he wasn’t completely alone. “Luê is the number one person who wanted me to do this solo project; she was incredibly supportive. Luan xxx, who mixed the album, was the guy who was always by my side, listening to the songs and saying: man, this is awesome, believe me, the tone is cool, this stuff is awesome, let’s keep going. So… it was empowering. I didn’t have to destroy my personality; I could just build it.”

Truths, Difficulties, Perfectionism

Mateo’s emotion is evident when he talks about the upheaval caused by the production of NEURODIVERGENTE. Always choosing his words, he speaks calmly. There’s a sweetness in his voice. He conveys the same truth that permeates his songs. Because of the reality he shares, he’s considered giving up on releasing a record several times. “Because it’s also a bit scary to release something that speaks so intensely about it, and suddenly people only see you from that perspective,” he says. “I was a bit afraid of that… I still am.” This fear stems from how people will define him, from thinking that this condition defines him. “But I understand that too. I’ve had a career with a band, and I know that an album is just a phase. And this phase will pass. This album has a beginning, a middle, and an end. The beginning is now, the middle is working on it live, the end is understanding how to conclude this way of seeing this phase in which everything happened. And turning this page will be as powerful as having entered it.”

For the artist, the biggest challenge was the lack of people to doubt him, because when that happens, it’s necessary to reaffirm yourself. And sometimes, in those moments of reaffirmation, you realize you’re wrong and feel comfortable. But, on the other hand, when you assert yourself, you have to explain, re-explain, and explain again. However, this process helped him make decisions, including the right time to let his “child” (project) go.

“I’m one of those producers who stays up all night tinkering with things that no one will notice. But that moment of deciding that the business is going to take off is very important, and I was also lucky because I had an intense farewell tour with Francisco (el, Hombre), so to a certain extent, I had to say: I can only work this far. So, I was able to put the album aside and say: it’s done. I think everyone who produces their own music goes through a phase where they don’t want to listen to it anymore, because you’ve already heard it 3,000 times.”

After several listens, Mateo says the result is exactly what he wanted. He also states that he understands more than he did before, and that the effects he hears in the vocals give the impression of being high on medication or something else. The compositions are another element that catches his attention as a listener. This was one of his concerns because he wanted people to be able to understand the lyrics, regardless of the music, as if they were text from a letter or as if he were speaking to a friend. One of his methods, part of Francisco, el Hombre’s concept, is that some of the phrases should be “tattooable”, whether in Portuguese or Spanish—the two languages in which the songs are performed.

“Because it says everything it needs to say in a simple and concise way,” he reflects. “So, they were born. They’re ideas that came from concrete things that happened. There’s a song that clearly talks about ketamine, an anesthetic that saved me for a minute, but at least it saved me, because I was heading towards death. So, they all come from specific situations within this process of trying to enter remission from my condition, right? And today I’m much better. I’ve been clean for about seven months now. But I stopped counting, I don’t want to count anymore.”

I ask Mateo one last question: if I had to choose one song to define the album, what would it be? He replies: “What a great question.” He thinks for a moment. He seems to search his memory. Almost 30 seconds later, he states that it’s “QUERIDA,” the song that closes the album. “I wrote it when I decided to see a psychiatrist, because I was losing myself to depression,” he reveals. “I was trying really hard, but I couldn’t.” Perhaps this was the last chance he gave himself. He promised to try, and, in a way, he succeeded. “Life, in theory, is beautiful. It’s sweet, it’s lovely. So let’s try. Despite everything that’s happening, let’s try. This song best explains everything that happened.”


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